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Writer's pictureSophia Khan

Navigating the Impacts of Trauma on Our Relationship with Ourselves

Updated: Jul 17

Trauma is a complex and multifaceted experience that can profoundly influence our relationship with ourselves. From self-esteem to our perception of our bodies and our ability to trust ourselves, trauma can leave a lasting imprint on various aspects of our lives. In this post, we delve into how trauma can affect key areas of our self-relationship and offer insights into navigating these challenges.


1. Self-Esteem: Trauma can significantly impact our self-esteem, leading to feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and inadequacy. Whether the trauma stems from childhood experiences, abusive relationships, or other sources, it can erode our sense of self-worth and confidence. Healing from trauma often involves rebuilding self-esteem through self-compassion, self-validation, and seeking support from others who affirm our value and worthiness.


2. Perfectionism: Many individuals who have experienced trauma develop perfectionistic tendencies as a coping mechanism. The relentless pursuit of perfection becomes a way to regain a sense of control and safety in the face of past trauma. However, perfectionism can be exhausting and detrimental to our well-being, leading to chronic stress and burnout. Learning to embrace imperfection and setting realistic expectations for ourselves are crucial steps in overcoming perfectionism and fostering self-acceptance.


3. Anxiety: Trauma can contribute to the development of anxiety disorders, characterized by persistent worry, fear, and apprehension. These feelings may stem from hypervigilance and the belief that danger is ever-present. Managing anxiety involves learning coping strategies such as mindfulness, grounding techniques, and seeking professional help when needed. By addressing the underlying causes of anxiety, individuals can reclaim a sense of calm and control over their lives.


4. Body Image: Trauma can distort our perception of our bodies, leading to negative body image and dissatisfaction. This may manifest as self-criticism, avoidance of mirrors, or struggling with disordered eating. Cultivating body respect and practicing self-care are essential for fostering a more positive body image. Surrounding ourselves with body-positive messages and engaging in activities that promote body appreciation can help us reconnect with and appreciate our bodies.


5. Relationship with Food: Trauma can profoundly impact our relationship with food, leading to behaviors such as binge eating or emotional eating as a way to cope with distressing emotions. These patterns may provide temporary relief but can ultimately exacerbate feelings of guilt and shame. Developing a healthy relationship with food involves honoring hunger and fullness cues, practicing mindful eating, addressing underlying emotional needs, and nervous system regulation.


6. Building Self-Trust: Trauma can shatter our sense of trust, both in others and ourselves. Rebuilding self-trust involves recognizing and challenging negative beliefs about ourselves, setting boundaries, and honoring our intuition. Engaging in activities that promote self-care and self-expression can help foster a sense of safety and trust within ourselves.


7. Embodiment (the Mind-Body Connection): Trauma can disconnect us from our bodies, leading to feelings of dissociation or numbness. Reconnecting with our bodies involves cultivating mindfulness and exploring somatic practices such as yoga, meditation, or dance. These practices can help us become more attuned to our bodily sensations and reclaim a sense of wholeness and integration.


In conclusion, navigating the impact of trauma on our relationship with ourselves is a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth. By acknowledging the ways in which trauma has shaped our perceptions and behaviors, we can take proactive steps to cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and self-empowerment. Seeking support from trusted friends, loved ones, or a therapist can provide invaluable assistance along this transformative path toward healing and self-discovery.


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About the Author


Sophia is a trauma therapist, a dietitian, and most importantly, a fellow human navigating the complexities of the human experience. She holds both a Bachelor of Science in Nutrition and a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology. She is deeply passionate about walking alongside clients looking to heal from various forms of trauma, such as complex trauma (including C-PTSD), betrayal trauma, relationship trauma, childhood trauma, parental trauma, narcissistic abuse, and/or intergenerational trauma. She specializes in supporting clients through healing the impacts that trauma can have on their most important relationships: including their relationship with self, with others, with their body, and with food. She draws from numerous trauma-focused modalities including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic and Mindfulness-Based Approaches, Attachment Theory, Polyvagal Theory, and Psychodynamic Therapy.

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