Betrayal trauma is a deeply painful experience that can shatter the trust we place in those closest to us. Whether it's a romantic partner, a family member, or a close friend, betrayal trauma occurs when someone you depend on violates your trust in a way that impacts your sense of safety, security, and emotional well-being. This form of trauma is uniquely distressing because it often involves a relationship with someone who holds significant importance in your life, making the emotional and psychological pain even more overwhelming. But betrayal trauma doesn't just affect your mind – it has a profound impact on your body as well.
What is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma refers to the emotional, psychological, and physical harm that arises from being betrayed by someone you deeply trust. This trauma may occur in the context of infidelity in a relationship, a friend or family member breaking promises, or being deceived or manipulated by someone in a position of power. The key to betrayal trauma is the intense shock, confusion, and heartbreak that comes from the violation of trust by someone who is supposed to be a source of love, safety, or support.
How Betrayal Trauma Affects the Body
When we experience trauma, our bodies don’t just respond with emotional or mental reactions; there are also physical changes that occur. Betrayal trauma, like any form of trauma, activates the body’s "fight, flight, or freeze" response. This is an instinctual survival mechanism meant to protect us from danger, but it can become overwhelming and prolonged in the case of betrayal trauma. The symptoms of betrayal trauma can manifest in both acute and chronic ways, affecting multiple systems in the body.
Here are some common physical symptoms that may be experienced:
1. Physical Tension and Pain
Betrayal trauma often leads to an increase in physical tension throughout the body. Common areas where tension may build include the shoulders, neck, and jaw. Over time, this can result in chronic pain or discomfort, such as headaches, back pain, or muscle soreness.
2. Chronic Fatigue
Feeling constantly exhausted or drained is a common symptom of betrayal trauma. This can happen because the emotional turmoil that comes with betrayal often consumes significant mental and emotional energy, leading to physical exhaustion.
3. Digestive Issues
Trauma can have a profound effect on the gut, which is sometimes called the “second brain.” Individuals dealing with betrayal trauma may experience nausea, stomach aches, or even more severe gastrointestinal issues such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) due to the prolonged stress and emotional upset.
4. Sleep Disturbances
The emotional distress of betrayal trauma often interferes with sleep, whether through trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing nightmares. The body’s heightened state of alertness (due to stress) can cause restless nights, making it difficult to relax and recover.
5. Increased Heart Rate or Panic Attacks
The body’s response to betrayal trauma may include an increased heart rate, shallow breathing, and heightened anxiety. In some cases, individuals may experience panic attacks, which are intense episodes of fear or anxiety that can physically manifest as chest tightness, dizziness, and shortness of breath.
6. Weakened Immune System
Chronic stress and emotional pain from betrayal trauma can weaken the immune system over time, making individuals more susceptible to illness and slower to recover from sickness.
How Therapy Can Help: IFS, EMDR, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
Betrayal trauma often requires therapeutic intervention to heal both the mind and body. There are several therapeutic approaches that can help process and resolve betrayal trauma, restoring emotional balance and promoting physical well-being.
1. Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
IFS therapy helps individuals navigate the different parts of their psyche, particularly in relation to trauma. When betrayal trauma occurs, it can leave us with conflicting parts of ourselves – one part may feel angry, while another feels vulnerable or abandoned. IFS helps identify and heal these parts, allowing the person to create a healthier inner dialogue. IFS allows for understanding and compassion toward these conflicting parts, enabling healing and a sense of integration.
2. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR is a well-established therapy for trauma that targets the processing of traumatic memories. In the case of betrayal trauma, EMDR can help individuals reprocess painful memories and experiences, shifting negative beliefs and emotions associated with betrayal. By using bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements), EMDR helps the brain reprocess trauma, reducing its emotional charge and allowing the person to gain a sense of peace and understanding.
3. Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy integrates somatic (body-based) awareness with traditional talk therapy. This approach is particularly effective for those whose betrayal trauma is deeply embedded in the body. By paying attention to bodily sensations, individuals can release stored tension, trauma, and emotions that may not have been consciously processed. Sensorimotor Psychotherapy helps to recalibrate the body’s nervous system and restore a sense of safety, allowing the trauma survivor to reconnect with their body in a healing way.
How to Reach Out for Help
If you're struggling with betrayal trauma, you don't have to navigate it alone. As a trauma therapist specializing in relational trauma, such as betrayal trauma and narcissistic abuse, I am here to support you. Together, we can explore the impact of this trauma on your life and work to restore your sense of safety, trust, and emotional well-being.
I offer individualized therapy that includes a combination of evidence-based approaches like IFS, EMDR, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, tailored to your unique experience. If you're ready to begin the healing process, reach out to me to schedule a consultation. You can book with me directly here: https://superbloomwellness.intakeq.com/booking
Final Thoughts
Betrayal trauma can feel overwhelming and isolating, but healing is possible. By understanding how betrayal trauma impacts the body and seeking the right therapeutic support, you can begin to release the grip of trauma and regain a sense of safety and peace in your life. It’s time to take control of your healing journey – and I’m here to help guide you every step of the way.
About the Author
Sophia is a trauma therapist, a dietitian, and most importantly, a fellow human navigating the complexities of the human experience. She holds both a Bachelor of Science in Nutrition and a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology. She is deeply passionate about walking alongside clients looking to heal from various forms of trauma, such as complex trauma (including C-PTSD), betrayal trauma, relationship trauma, childhood trauma, parental trauma, narcissistic abuse, and/or intergenerational trauma. She specializes in supporting clients through healing the impacts that trauma can have on their most important relationships: including their relationship with self, with others, with their body, and with food. She draws from numerous trauma-focused modalities including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic and Mindfulness-Based Approaches, Attachment Theory, Polyvagal Theory, and Psychodynamic Therapy.
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